Niiiiice Package

It seems that this is how they do condiment packets in Australia. I feel like Dave is holding out on me. How sweet is that design?

CELEBRITY CONDIMENT SEX SCANDLE!

I have a guilty pleasure beyond the world of condiments. Rumors and gossip. I think I'm not alone in the thrill of learning what goes on behind closed doors. When the rumor centers on the eccentricities of the rich and the famous what could be better? I'll tell you what could better - pairing a celebrity’s kink with bizarre condiment usage.

This one involves an unnamed actor of TV and movies who is not a lead but is often cast as a love interest to the leading lady. Another clue to the identity of subject of this rumor is that this fellah has a famous girl friend. Rumor going around is that the actor has been cheating on his significant other. Same old, same old right? Not so fast. It would seem that our intrepid thespian is never without his backpack containing a jar of mayonnaise. He requires that his partners slather him with the condiment. One can assume that there is something about the stable emulsion of egg and oil that gets him hot.

Source

Heinz Going to Play Hide the Pickle

Reuters reports that Heinz is taking the pickle out of their logo.

So what are they going to find to replace the pickle on their ketchup products?  Oh what in god's name can replace such a natural marrage of pickle and ketchup? Oh right...a tomato! Whew! Look for Heinz to pull its pickle sometime this year. 

Creator of Sabrett's Prepared Onions Dies

Alan Geisler, the creator of the red-onion sauce many New Yorkers love on their hot dogs, has died. He was 78 years old. 

Unfortunately it seems being born in the Mid-West has somehow kept me unaware of Mr. Geisler's creation. In searching out some info regarding what a red-onion sauce I've found that its a patented mix of onions, tomato paste and olive oil and that its sold as Sabrett's Prepared Onions. 

While the New York Post's states the recipe is patented I was able to search out what someone considers a reasonable recreation of the sauce. From YAHOO! Answers: 

1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil 

1 medium onion, sliced thin and chopped 

4 cups water 

2 tablespoons tomato paste 

2 teaspoons corn syrup 

1 teaspoon cornstarch 

1/2 teaspoon salt 

1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 

1/4 cup vinegar 

1. Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. 

2. Sauté sliced onion in the oil for 5 minutes, until onions are 

soft but not brown. 

3. Add water, tomato paste, corn syrup, cornstarch, salt, and red 

pepper flakes, and stir. 

4. Bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 45 

minutes. Add vinegar. Continue to simmer for an additional 30 to 45 

minutes or until most of the liquid has reduced and the sauce is 

thick. 

Makes about 1 cup. 

The author also suggests doubling the recipe due to the time it takes to create the sauce. I'd say to double it cause it sounds great and I can't imagine that one cup would be enough. 

Thanks Mr. Geisler for your contributions to the world of condiments! 

Readers' Poll!

Consider this our first ever Readers' Poll (do we even have any readers?):

Are spices a condiment?

I'm going for a big 'CERTAINLY!' primarily because I would like to include them within the gaggle of things about which we blog. I would also like to point out that dictionary.com (which is citable as a reference, and has been quoted in legal opinions) defines condiment as:

something used to give a special flavor to food, as mustard, ketchup, salt, or spices (Random House, 2006); or

a substance, such as a relish, vinegar, or spice, used to flavor or complement food (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, 2006); or

something used to give relish to food, and to gratify the taste; a pungment (sic) and appetizing substance, as pepper or mustard; seasoning (Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, 1996).

So if you'll notice, all of the above clearly include spices within the definition of condiment. Alas, I'll leave the ultimate decision to our readers (who will do me the honor of commenting pretty please!).

Santa Baby

Do you remember the best toy you ever got for Xmas, birthday, or maybe granny's-gettin'-outta-prison day? You can throw out your Hello My Little He-Joe (with kung-fu grip). There's a new most awesome toy in town. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present The Condiment Gun...

For an extremely reasonable $29. 95 you get the gun and two cartridges capable of holding 3.4 oz of sauce each. Check out this snippet of the seller's, firebox.com, description;

"All you do is load up the Condiment Gun's cartridge (two supplied) with your favorite sauce, bung it in and squeeze the trigger."

Come on you all know you've always wanted to bung something much less firing off some Sriracha out of a gun looks like something Roger Rabbit might holster.

Currently this outstanding piece of human engeneering is out of stock but firebox.com is taking orders for when they get some more. Question is, do you need it?

That's what I thought....

What's On Second

As soon as I get some pix of off my camera and format some blogs here are some of the topics we'll be covering...

• Habanero Jelly - I was gifted a jar of homemade golden yummy from Julie. The plan is to post the recipe that she used but to also give a list of all the different ways I will consume the spicy sweet contents.
• The Miracle Fruit Tasting(s) - I've now had the miracle fruit pill experience two separate occasions and have much to report. With any luck there will be some feed back from a group of friends that had miracle fruit gathering as well.
• Horseradish Mustard Blind Taste Test - At a weekend getaway with friends, we had three different horseradish mustards and had people taste and rate them. I believe fun was had by all. I want to follow it up with additional blind tastings but I'm having a hard time coming up with a good name for the 'segment'. Any suggestions?